In my past blog i talked about this guy who made everything better and helped me see what "pain" really was but now that is the complete oppisite. Anthony and i had dated for awhile things started getting rockier the further into our relationship so he called it quits. I was depressed the whole time we were apart because i really truly loved him. We hooked back up not to long ago and things were going good untill "she" said i couldn't talk to he by "she" i mean my mom. This was like pure hell for me and i tried to knock some sense into her head but she didn't listen so here i am typing my feelings on here because my mom munipulates how i feel and i am tired of it i sometimes think of commiting suicide and not only that i can no longer trust my dad either i am pretty much screwed people really i am.

I am having a hard time keeping up with my love. I am very stuck on someone and that person has been the cause for why they haven't been working out too well. I haven't been on this lately because like i said before i don't have the internet i am planning on getting him back maybe idk that's it.

OK, i made it through tha first three days of high skool so far it's going good. My classes are yet a little bit hard to find sometimes but that's ok i'll get use to it. There is still some boy issues i like my best friend's brother and i know that's always a no no but hey i really freakin' like this guy. Well today i don't have much too say but! i might be getting my internet back so i don't have to go to the library all the time!

I am seriously getting freaking sick of living with my mom. Ever since my parents have divorced she has done nothing but wrong. Yes i know that it's hard on her but she has to realize that it's harder on the kids more or less than her. Today she was flipping out on me i made some smart ass comment and next thing i know she is like the freaking devil, not only that she was drinking and she tends to get violent when she drinks. I called my dad and told him that i rather live with him but the sucky part is that he can't have me live with him right now because he has to pay off his finds. I hope soon that some one will realize what she is doing is way wrong and then try and do something about it because if not i will just end up trying to take my own life once again.

Okay. I have been mixed up with boys for so long it's litterally earth shattering. Fisrt i loved this guy named Don for like three years and then i don't know what happened we stopped dating but i know certainly well that we never stopped loving eachother. Then there was this guy named Chris OMG was he amazing BUT he is the reason i broke up with Don. And after all that i had found Anthony i am VERY happy with him in fact i am with him right now things couldn't get better BUT there is one problem he is older than me by alot he is like 28. Yes i know i know don't freak but you know what i love Anthony i really do but then i started talking to my ex Don and that's when i realized after four years of knowing eachother i am still madly in love with him so my love life is like pretty much screwed!